?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Shit happens


Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List



  • Taoism: Shit happens.

  • Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."

  • Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.

  • Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.

  • Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?

  • Hinduism: This shit has happened before.

  • Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

  • Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.

  • Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.

  • Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.

  • Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.

  • Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.

  • Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.

  • Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.

  • Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.

  • Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.

  • Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.

  • Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)

  • Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.

  • Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.

  • Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?

  • Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.

  • Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.

  • Creationism: God made all shit.

  • Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.

  • Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!

  • Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.

  • Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.

  • Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.

  • Utopianism: This shit does not stink.

  • Darwinism: This shit was once food.

  • Capitalism: That's MY shit.

  • Communism: It's everybody's shit.

  • Feminism: Men are shit.

  • Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...

  • Commercialism: Let's package this shit.

  • Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.

  • Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.

  • Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.

  • Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?

  • Stoicism: This shit is good for me.

  • Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!

  • Mormonism: God sent us this shit.

  • Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.

  • Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.

  • Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.

  • Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.

  • Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?

  • Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.

  • Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.

  • Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.

  • Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!

  • Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.

  • Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.

  • Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.

  • Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.

  • Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?

  • Agnostic #3: What is this shit?

  • Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.

  • Atheism: What shit?

  • Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!

  • Nihilism: No shit.

  • Narcisism: I am the shit!

  • And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
cheeha
Jun. 11th, 2013 02:12 pm (UTC)
Православный, после неудачной попытки пересунуть на территорию соседа: "На всё воля Божья!", кропит святой водой, читает молитву против бесовских происков и прикрывает вышитой салфеточкой. Воняет, конечно, до небес, но выглядит всё благообразно.

Русский: с горя напивается.

Украинец: смешивает с грязью и разбивает огород.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

Profile

seattle
otkaznik
otkaznik

Latest Month

November 2019
S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930

Tags

Page Summary

Powered by LiveJournal.com